congragulation:

“Ah, yes, my psychiatrist, Hax Murderer. He has been helping me profile this ax murderer.”


just got back from my first day at my new job. wooo exciting times

Animated Gif on Giphy





On talking with Jennifer Lawrence (x)


dorfs:

Woops my 10 minute study break turned into a whole year


lameborghini:

ive been annoyed ever since i was born


posted 1 day ago with 9,129 notes
- via ispeakowl

emmastonemetodeath:

can we all stop pretending that channing tatum is hot


nickoffermen:

if you are bored or feeling down, here, have an hour and 45 minutes of the office bloopers


posted 1 day ago with 341 notes
© nickoffermen - via blaein

mymindpalaceisatardis:

internetfeet:

People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t

Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”

And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”

I snorted so hard


barricadeponine:

i wish i was a mermaid so i could have a nice shiny tail and a pretty seashell bra and a beautiful voice that i could use to entice cute boys and make them crash their ships and drown at sea so human women could rise as the dominate gender of the land



slythermint:

when i was

a young boy

my father

took me into the city

to see a marching band

he said, “son when—”

image